What’s Problematic About NLP: Understanding the Use of Manipulations and “Keys” to Access the Subconscious

Many people would like to find a key to emotions – both their own and others’ – and be able to control them with simple actions.

Followers of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP, believe that this is entirely possible. In their understanding, the human brain works like a computer, and you can give it commands that it will not resist – you just need to master the right techniques.

All sorts of people – from motivational speakers to pickup artists – claim that they regularly use NLP and achieve their goals with its help. We explain whether you can really manipulate those around you and program your brain for success.

What is NLP?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a set of rules and techniques designed to help with self-improvement and interpersonal communication.

According to supporters of this theory, the right actions and words work much like key combinations on a computer: they allow you to control a person’s consciousness and behavior. And you can program both yourself and those around you in this way. You can use these manipulation skills for a variety of purposes – to build a career, run a business, make romantic connections, and even cure diseases.

The founders of NLP – linguist John Grinder and cybernetics student Richard Bandler – coined the name of the technique from their comparison of the brain to a computer and “programming”. They met at the University of California, Santa Cruz in the 1970s and decided to work together on what they believed was a revolutionary theory.

Grinder and Bandler observed how famous psychotherapists of that time conducted their sessions and tried to identify and replicate their patterns of behavior. The creators of the theory believed that the key to a person’s consciousness and behavior is hidden in their words and actions, and it can be picked up if desired. Over time, these ideas evolved into the theory of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

Training and books on NLP brought Grinder and Bandler a lot of money, but then the creators had a falling out, they sued each other for the right to own the brand, and each began to develop their own direction. Over the years of NLP’s existence, dozens of followers have reinterpreted and added to the methodology, so new ideas and techniques were constantly added to the original ones. Nowadays, one can find descriptions of over a hundred different NLP techniques in books.

Here are some popular techniques:

Calibration. This is the ability to observe the interlocutor, notice their slightest actions, and recognize hidden non-verbal signals behind them. NLP followers are confident that this can help understand what a person is thinking, for example, based on body posture, tension of facial muscles, dilation and contraction of pupils, or hand positions.

This technique should help in negotiations: by noticing how the interlocutor reacts to your words and actions, you can quickly adjust them, for example, by proposing more favorable terms of a deal. Experienced calibrators also supposedly know how to detect lies accurately.

Matching. This is a technique of copying the interlocutor’s behavior, which is designed to help synchronize with them and achieve “rapport” – a state where one person understands another precisely and submits to them. Matching can be physical, where you need to copy the posture and body position, down to maintaining the same center of gravity and muscle tension. There is also matching by voice, by breathing rhythm, or by the words a person uses.

Mirroring. This technique is similar to matching, but in this case, you need not copy the behavior precisely but repeat certain aspects of it, for example, gestures, facial expressions, speech tempo, or its style – relaxed or, conversely, serious. It is believed that this also can influence a person. For example, if you say things with which they are obviously not in agreement, but do it with the right intonation and adjusting to the speech tempo, then the interlocutor will not reject your position.

Anchoring. NLP proponents claim that this technique is based on conditional reflexes. A person can be programmed to experience certain emotions with the help of an anchor, such as a sound, smell, or touch.

It should work like this: at the moment when the person feels a strong emotion, such as joy, you should put your hand on their shoulder. And if you repeat this action often enough while the person is feeling happy, eventually it will work in reverse: you put your hand on their shoulder and they feel joy.

An anchor can also be placed on oneself. Supposedly, even more complex emotions such as self-esteem can be controlled this way. But this should only work for NLP masters of an advanced level.

Swish. It is believed that many of a person’s settings are “encoded” in their brain, and they can be eliminated with a special “code”. To do this, you need to find a trigger that initiates unwanted behavior, visualize it as an external image, and then replace it with a positive image. For example, instead of a hand with a cigarette, you can visualize yourself with white teeth and smooth skin.

The images should change before your eyes in response to a signal – a swish or a snap of the fingers. According to NLP proponents, this can be used not only to combat harmful habits but also to deal with self-doubt, low self-esteem, irritability, and many other problems.

Why is NLP popular?

Since the 1970s, hundreds of books on NLP have been written, and on the internet, one can find thousands of articles and videos explaining the essence of the methodology and teaching techniques. In addition, there are courses that offer to teach the secrets of neuro-linguistic programming for money.

It is not difficult to understand people who are willing to buy books, watch videos, and pay for education. This is what makes NLP so popular.

Sometimes manipulations can work – but this is not the merit of NLP. People have been using various techniques since time immemorial, and the creators of the NLP methodology simply noticed this and adapted their theory to well-working techniques. You have probably manipulated someone yourself, albeit unconsciously, in everyday life, even if you have not taken an NLP course.

For example, if you know who among your colleagues to take seriously and with whom to start a conversation about a new meme, you are also engaging in mirroring. Scientists have found that thanks to mirroring, waiters receive good tips, sales managers show better results at work, and girls are more liked by potential partners during speed dating.

Another working technique that NLP supporters have taken on is reframing, which is presenting a situation in a new, more positive context. For example, salespeople regularly use it, not saying that an item has been lying around due to its outdated style, but assuring you that it is an exclusive model that was waiting just for you.

People want to control those around them. NLP promises that with the help of the right technique, it is possible to “read” each person and then influence them to achieve one’s goals. The possibilities that such an ability opens up are practically limitless: it can help you become a politician, a poker player, or an employee of the month. The founders of NLP, Grinder and Bandler, claimed that their methodology even allows people to heal from phobias and learning difficulties, so the techniques could be used for altruistic purposes as well.

The methodology promises that one can come to an agreement with oneself. Another advantage of mastering NLP techniques is the ability to influence not only others but also oneself. Supposedly, one can also achieve things like quitting smoking, waking up early, not getting upset by other people’s words, and avoiding distractions with the help of “self-programming”.

NLP appears to be a science. References to famous scientists like Ivan Pavlov, formulas, and complex terms make neuro-linguistic programming seem like a real science. Even the name of the concept itself sounds scientific and can be confusing to an ordinary person, but not to scientists. They consider NLP to be pseudoscience. And here’s why.

What’s wrong with NLP

The effectiveness of NLP is not proven. Over 50 years of studying NLP, serious evidence of its effectiveness has not been found, and there are questions about studies with optimistic results among the scientific community.

Here’s what some studies on NLP have shown:

1. In 1985, a group of scientists attempted to understand if NLP techniques could be used against the fear of public speaking, and even cure it in a single session, as Grinder and Bandler promised. It turned out that the session was no more effective than simply waiting for an hour.
2. American scientists decided to test the famous NLP technique of detecting lies through eye movements. They studied where people were looking in videos when they were lying or telling the truth, but found no matches.
3. Specialists from the Canadian Agency for Drugs and Technologies in Health could not find any evidence of the effectiveness of NLP in treating depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety disorders.
4. A review was published in the British Journal of General Practice in which scientists examined ten studies dedicated to NLP and its use in the treatment of anxiety disorders, drug addiction, eating disorders, and other problems. Only five of the studies were randomized controlled trials, an important condition that minimizes the possibility of manipulating results, but these experiments had few participants, ranging from 22 to 106 people. Four studies did not reveal a significant positive impact of NLP, and only one was in favor of the technique. In three of all the studies examined, conclusions were drawn based on just one session, and overall, scientists noted a high risk that NLP’s effectiveness was being tested by its supporters.
5. Polish psychologist Tomasz Witkowski studied over 300 articles on neuro-linguistic programming from scientific journals and found that only 18.2% showed the benefits of NLP. Conclusions in 54.5% of the articles refuted the effectiveness of the concept, and in 27.3% of cases, the results were inconclusive.

However, supporters of NLP are not particularly bothered by the unscientific nature of the methodology – often they call it an art or even magic.

NLP is based on outdated ideas about the structure of the brain. According to the founders of the methodology, there are two misconceptions that modern science has debunked.

Firstly, they believed that the brain is like a computer, although in reality this organ is much more complex. It does not have a fixed memory capacity. The brain not only registers visual images, but also interprets them. The brain itself gives commands to different organs of the body, while a computer only executes them.

Secondly, according to the creators of NLP, the right hemisphere is responsible for creativity, while the left hemisphere is responsible for logic and calculations. However, it is already known that people in both creative and math-related professions use both hemispheres equally. In 2013, American scientists studied the results of MRI scans of more than a thousand people performing different tasks, but found no evidence of “division of labor” between the hemispheres.

In addition, when one hemisphere is damaged or removed, the other takes over its functions and the person continues to live normally. The only thing that is true in this theory is that some areas of the left hemisphere do indeed handle mathematical tasks and speech, while the right hemisphere is responsible for attention.

Manipulative techniques are not as effective as NLP supporters would like. Course sellers and NLP trainers promise a truly hypnotic effect: a person on whom the techniques are used supposedly loses any ability to resist manipulation. But due to the complex structure of the psyche, people are capable of completely unexpected reactions. The mirroring technique may make one person more compliant, while it may cause irritation and aggression in another.

There will be no harm if you start mirroring your interlocutor on a date. But it is definitely not worth resorting to NLP techniques if you need to cure a phobia, depression, or other mental disorders. In this case, it is better to use methods with proven effectiveness.