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Popular bloggers and stars are often considered close people by many individuals who follow their lives, rejoice in their successes, and write comments to them. Some individuals may even engage in imaginary conversations with them. This phenomenon is referred to as parasocial relationships by scientists.
Psychologists describe parasocial relationships as emotionally charged, one-sided relationships between a media consumer and a popular public figure or fictional character. Examples may include actors, musicians, influencers, athletes, politicians, or even superheroes and cartoon characters. Although these relationships can help fulfill psychological needs and improve one’s quality of life, negative effects can occur but are relatively uncommon. Overall, psychologists generally consider parasocial relationships to be a normal and safe phenomenon.
Most often, as research shows, parasocial relationships are positively tinted: they resemble friendship or love. And they develop just like normal relationships. It all starts with an acquaintance: say, a person watches a movie with a popular actor. If the actor makes a strong impression on the person, they may start to take an interest in them: watch other movies with the actor, follow them on social media. The more these interactions occur, the faster the relationship forms: the actor becomes someone familiar and close to the person. The person begins to feel and be happy for the actor. Imitate them and support as much as possible: go to movies with them more often, protect them from haters on social media.
The fact that the actor himself does not participate in these relationships and doesn’t even know about them, usually does not affect their intensity. Furthermore, if the parasocial relationship is broken: the actor dies, leaves social media, gets into a scandal or simply becomes uninteresting, a person may experience this as the loss of real relationships. They may experience strong stress and sadness, truly grieve. This process scientists call parasocial breakup.
The phenomenon of parasocial relationships was described by scientists relatively recently, in 1956. However, it appears that people have been entering into these types of relationships since ancient times. The second party in these relationships could have been well-known rulers, gods or spirits. However, it was only with the advent of electronic media and then social networks that this type of relationship became widespread. Some psychologists assume that every modern person experiences parasocial attachment to someone popular at some point in their life and may not even be aware of it.
People in parasocial relationships with a stranger tend to think of them in the following ways:
- “We may not know each other, but I feel like I know him better than anyone else”;
- “When I listen to his songs, I realize that we are so similar”;
- “When I saw that actress for the first time, it changed my life”;
- “He couldn’t have done anything wrong. In movies, he is always a pleasant, responsible person”;
- “I understand what he’s feeling right now”;
- “We were simply made for each other”;
- “Every time she posts something, it brings me joy and support”;
- “This singer is my best friend”;
- “Such a good boy, he feels like a son to me.
What causes parasocial relationships to emerge?
Due to evolutionary mechanisms
The main hypothesis suggests that people develop parasocial relationships because they have an innate tendency to form connections with those in their daily lives due to evolution. The brain automatically considers those we see and hear frequently as part of our social circle, whether it’s in reality or on a smartphone screen. The medium doesn’t matter much to the brain.
Due to a lack of real social connections
In this case, parasocial relationships can be used as an adaptation mechanism and satisfy people’s need for communication with others. In the US, a explosive growth in the number of parasocial relationships was observed during lockdowns due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
The sharp reduction in social contacts forced people to pay more attention to the lives of celebrities on social networks – and many developed a one-sided attachment. Also, according to scientists’ observations, parasocial relationships occur most frequently among teenagers and the elderly – both age groups typically experience problems with socialization.
Due to fear of real relationships
As parasocial relationships are one-sided and fictional, individuals are able to exercise complete control over them. This provides a level of protection from negative emotions, pain, disappointment, and the need to compromise their interests – all of which are typically associated with real-life relationships.
That’s why, psychologists say, parasocial relationships are often particularly attractive to insecure people or those who are not yet ready for real relationships.
What are the possible outcomes of having parasocial relationships
Typically, parasocial relationships positively impact those who are involved in them. Studies show that they allow people to experience more positive emotions and feel like they are part of a community. This helps regulate their inner state, reduces stress levels, and increases self-confidence.
Moreover, these relationships often contribute to expanding one’s social circle. People who feel a one-sided attachment to a media personality they don’t know often want to discuss it with someone who understands them. To do this, they join fan groups or communities where they can find many new friends. Parasocial relationships can also strengthen existing relationships with close friends and loved ones. Many of them may also be involved in parasocial relationships. Jointly discussing this experience, according to psychologists, also contributes to getting closer.
It is also noted that people who are interested in a famous person often adopt their useful habits. They start exercising more, paying attention to their diet and health.
However, the same mechanism can have negative consequences. There is evidence that people who are in parasocial relationships with publicly aggressive personalities sometimes adopt this behavior model. This spoils their real relationships with others and increases stress levels.
Parasocial relationships can also negatively affect other areas of life. For example, a person may make an impulsive purchase, such as spending on an expensive item advertised by someone important to them. Or they may become anti-vaccination, believe in homeopathy, or radicalize their political position if these are the views of the person they are in parasocial relationship with.
In theory, parasocial relationships can negatively impact a person’s social life, replacing other types of relationships. But the main danger is that in extremely rare cases, they can become an obsession with a famous person, an excessive attention to details of their life. This is known as the celebrity worship syndrome.
People suffering from this syndrome often become stalkers of their objects of obsession, sending them crazy letters or sincerely believing that they are in a romantic relationship with them. There are also cases where the media’s obsession turns into a desire to kill or at least hurt them.
What can be done
If parasocial relationships positively impact your life, help you overcome difficulties, and you perceive them adequately: you understand that they are illusory, psychologists advise to continue enjoying them. It makes sense to seek professional help if you feel that your obsession with a famous person is starting to cause problems for you.
To avoid problems, it is important to follow three simple rules.
Maintain balance in social life
No matter how much joy you get from parasocial relationships, don’t try to replace your contacts with other people with them. Initiate them yourself more often: talk to close people, go out of town with your family, invite friends over. This will help you maintain a healthy attitude towards your parasocial attachment and not get carried away with it.
Respect personal boundaries
Remember that your relationship with a celebrity is one-sided. They do not need it as much as you do. So don’t try to take advantage of every opportunity to get in touch or force communication. Be respectful. This will help you avoid disappointment in your favorite celebrity and save both you and them from unnecessary stress.
Do not be ashamed of your parasocial relationships
Remember that it is just one of many types of relationships that can arise between people. The fact that only one side, you, is actively involved in them does not automatically make them unhealthy or dangerous. Parasocial relationships are natural. And most people in one form or another at different times in their lives have these types of relationships with someone or something.
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