Table of Contents Show
It is perfectly natural to feel fear of losing a partner.
Even good relationships can be ruined by suspicion, which can sometimes take the form of painful jealousy and result in constant surveillance and unfounded accusations of infidelity, known as the Othello syndrome.
What is Othello syndrome?
People with Othello Syndrome experience a type of jealousy known as manic and pathological, where they become obsessed with the idea of loyalty and falsely believe, without any evidence, that their partner is cheating on them.
British psychiatrists John Todd and Kenneth Dewhurst proposed this term for the first time. In their 1955 article, they identified a dangerous form of psychosis characterized by a delusional belief in a partner’s infidelity. Boccaccio, Tolstoy, and Shakespeare had all described such behavior, with Shakespeare’s “Othello” featuring the tragic killing of a wife due to jealousy.
In comparison to other types of paranoid delusions, this disorder always involves a spouse. Todd and Dyukherst observed that both genders can experience it, but men tend to experience it more frequently and with higher risk.
Evolutionary psychologists consider jealousy to be an innate emotion, a mechanism that has developed in humans over thousands of years. According to studies of romantic relationships, male jealousy is often focused on fears of sexual infidelity by their partner, while female jealousy is focused on the greater attractiveness of a competitor and the possibility of emotional attachment of their partner to someone else.
Pathological jealousy often manifests as a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder: people who are excessively jealous are obsessed with finding confirmation of their suspicions. They see signs of infidelity in the most innocent situations, refuse to change their point of view even in the presence of evidence to the contrary, and perceive their partner as their property.
Symptoms of Othello’s syndrome can include phrases and thoughts such as:
- “She changed her perfume, for sure her lover gave it to her.”
- “Who is always writing to him? Definitely a mistress.”
- “You stayed for half an hour. Where were you? Don’t make excuses, I know you have someone.”
- “Have you already been to this cafe? But without me? So it means, with your lover.”
- “He’s not sleeping, he’s definitely thinking about his women.”
- “You have been so thoughtful lately. Tell me, do you have someone?”
- “I hacked into your phone and found a contact of someone named Sergey. Who is he?”
- “You were seen near the hotel yesterday. Explain what you were doing there.”
Why does it arise?
Several factors can trigger the appearance of Othello syndrome.
Attachment type
Depending on the relationships within the family and previous experiences, a person develops a certain attachment style that affects their interaction format with a partner. Therefore, in the context of the study, individuals with a secure attachment style were more likely to openly express their jealousy, but at the same time, they aimed to maintain the relationship. People with an anxious attachment style hid their emotions due to the fear of losing their partner, while those with an avoidant attachment style began blaming their partner.
Lack of confidence in oneself
People with a negative perception of their own personality often experience feelings of jealousy in romantic relationships. It is easier for them to believe that their partner has “cheated” on them with someone else, a more worthy candidate.
Mental disorders
The development of Othello syndrome can be triggered by other mental disorders, such as schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder. On their background, delusional thoughts may arise related to the imaginary infidelity of the partner, over time, the theme of jealousy may begin to dominate among other manic ideas.
Problems with alcohol and drugs
Substances that alter the state of consciousness can also lead to delusional thoughts about a partner’s infidelity. According to a study, 34% of people with alcoholism suffered from painful jealousy, some only experiencing it while drunk, while others experienced it both drunk and sober. Some also had delusional ideas related to jealousy.
What are the dangers?
Jealousy has a negative impact on health. It can cause insomnia, headaches, hypertension, and weight loss. Additionally, it is associated with mental disorders such as depression, schizophrenia, paranoia, psychosis, and anxious or borderline personality disorder.
However, the partner in this case may face, possibly, even greater danger. Suspecting infidelity, a person with Othello syndrome begins to seek confirmation by all available means. These can be lengthy interrogations, repeated calls to colleagues, unexpected visits to work, surveillance, installation of recording devices, reading correspondence, searching for evidence in personal belongings, inspecting underwear, sheets, and genitals.
All of this makes life with such a person unbearable, and rational arguments do not allow convincing them that there is no reason for jealousy. In such a situation, the risk of domestic violence, forced home detention, and even murder increases. A person with Othello syndrome may also attempt to harm themselves.
What can be done?
A partner of a pathological jealous person should think of ways to protect themselves and convince them to seek therapy. In case of severe mental disorders, it is important to consult a psychiatrist. Cognitive-behavioral therapy also helps to combat the symptoms of pathological jealousy.
Here are several techniques that can be used by a person who realizes that their jealousy is poisoning their own and their partner’s life.
Define your triggers
It is important to understand what triggers feelings of jealousy. Perhaps you had a bad day or you saw your partner talking to an attractive stranger. Determine the moment when jealousy arises and acknowledge it as a fact – this will be the first step in overcoming it.
Analyze your thoughts
Pay attention to what thoughts arise in you at this moment. Perhaps, in addition to anger, you feel fear and uncertainty in yourself. Think about what might be the real cause of these thoughts. Maybe they are based on false beliefs – try to refute them with rational arguments.
Talk to your partner.
Tell him about the emotions you experience and what causes them. It is important not to turn the conversation into another scandal with accusations against him. Talk about yourself and your feelings, not suspicions.
Change your behavior
Identify the familiar patterns of your behavior and try not to give in to your jealousy. Do not conduct an interrogation for a fabricated reason, but instead look at the situation objectively and think about what advice you would give to a friend in your position.
Give yourself some time
Your feelings and habits will not change overnight. It may take months, but by showing patience and persistence, it is possible to gradually change one’s behavior, get rid of painful jealousy, and make relationships more trusting and harmonious.
Responses