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Human sexuality can be justified in terms of behavioral economics. The choice of a partner and the subsequent development of a relationship is a well-predictable and largely calculable process. It’s all about a phenomenon that scientists have called “hedonic adaptation“. This term means the ability to adapt our needs and demands to the realities around us.
Assortative Marriages
Marriages may indeed be made in heaven, but psychologists and economists have a different logical explanations for why these two individuals formed a couple. People choose partners who are at similar “level of attractiveness”. This position may be intuitively clear to many, but it is always nice when scientific evidence supports such conjectures.
“The beautiful meet the beautiful” is too crude an interpretation of the thesis. It is also about the level of education, material wealth, lineage, and a host of other factors. The concept of “mesalliance” in the culture exists precisely because deep in our hearts we think: the more similar the biological data and external life circumstances of the lovers are, the more harmonious their union will be. Such marriages are called assortative marriages.
Because of the increasing complexity of the social and economic order, the number of assortative marriages is steadily increasing. For example, while in 1960 only 25% of men with college degrees married women with college degrees, by 2005 the proportion of such marriages had risen to 48%. In addition to an increase in total household income, the assortativity of marriages leads to an improvement in the demographic situation, although science cannot yet explain this pattern.
Such an arrangement looks advantageous from the point of view of social progress. But what is the situation of those who do not feel themselves top players in the sexual market? For example, those who don’t have prestigious education, good looks, or inherited significant assets – how do they structure their personal lives? Behavioral economics has an answer to this tricky question.
Experiments on a dating site
Initially, researchers had three hypotheses regarding the lines of the behavior of “weak players” in the sexual market:
- a shift in aesthetic criteria,
- shifting attention to other qualities of the person,
- a refusal to adapt.
In the first scenario, a person may convince themselves or others that they have changed their preferences in terms of sexual attraction to their partner, possibly by emphasizing physical features like curves. In the second case, a person may prioritize personality traits such as a sense of humor or sociability over physical appearance in their partner, possibly expressing their thoughts as “I’d rather be with someone who is interesting to talk to and not just conventionally attractive.
Finally, in the third case, the person does not compromise their desire for a specific type of partner, for example, saying “I only want someone who looks like Monica Bellucci and no one else.” This could be seen as a refusal to adapt to their preferences.
These three hypotheses had to be tested in practice. As a test site, the researchers chose the site Hot or Not, which is not so much a dating service as it is a social network for ranking photos on a 10-point beauty scale.
Using this resource, researchers were able to accomplish several goals. Firstly, we were able to identify users who were rated as having a low appearance by other site visitors and observe how they themselves rated the appearance of others. Upon analyzing the data, we found that our first hypothesis, which posited a shift in aesthetic criteria, was completely incorrect. The ratings given by these users aligned with the overall trend on the site
Regardless of what their own looks were, people were in agreement that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were good, while Quasimodo was not. The first, seemingly logical hypothesis collapsed, followed by the third.
The site had a feature that allowed users to invite others to meet up (using a ‘Meet me’ button displayed under their profile photo). It was found, through analyzing the requests made by users who were rated as having low attractiveness, that our third hypothesis, which suggested a refusal to adapt, was incorrect. These users tended to ask out people who were more likely to accept their invitations.
Experiments with speed dating
The Hot or Not website allowed us to refute the first and third hypotheses, but the second hypothesis, which focused on the importance of other qualities in a partner, was not able to be tested. Since the site was primarily concerned with evaluating appearance, it was not a suitable resource for testing this hypothesis. Instead, the researchers decided to use a speed dating format and conducted a series of experiments with participants. The participants answered questions about their priorities in finding a sexual partner before engaging in brief interactions with others. After each round, they were also asked to provide feedback on the people they had just met, including what they liked and disliked about them. Upon analyzing the responses, the researchers reached two conclusions.
Firstly, people who were not considered attractive initially emphasized qualities such as a sense of humor, kindness, and integrity. What is even more interesting is their impressions after the speed dating events. According to what they told the researchers, they were much more interested in meeting again with partners who possessed the desired set of qualities (such as a sense of humor, kindness, etc.) rather than those who were physically attractive. This led to the conclusion that hypothesis 2 is correct. None of these kind people woke up in the morning thinking, ‘Oh no, what’s lying next to me?’
Total hedonism
The phenomenon behind the previously described mutation of views is called ‘hedonic adaptation.’ It is a tool that allows our psyche to adapt reality to ourselves in order to avoid strong discomfort.
Each individual has a certain level of ‘satisfaction’ with life to which they regularly return, regardless of any upheavals or joyful events they may experience. The pain of losing a limb eventually dulls, just as the joy of a promotion at work fades. A sexual partner who was initially seen as a temporary option in a dry spell may eventually gain new, attractive qualities in your eyes over time.
The hedonic trap
There is no doubt that hedonic adaptation serves to protect our psyche. However, over time, this mechanism also dulls both positive and negative emotions. It is no coincidence that the term ‘hedonic treadmill‘ is often used alongside hedonic adaptation in English, meaning that modern society is forced to run like a hamster on a wheel. The joy from career achievements, romantic relationships, and new purchases quickly fade for most people.
In order to maintain the desired level of pleasure, we are forced to push ourselves further up, over the heads of others, changing sexual partners and buying new things. The problem is so serious that there is even a special term for it: ‘unhappy economics‘ (or ‘economics without pleasures,’ to be exact).
Getting out of the hedonic trap
Behavioral economics recommends spreading acts of consumption over time whenever possible. For example:
- Buy your wardrobe piece by piece, rather than all at once, so that each new item brings a separate joy;
- Spend regular time away from your sexual partner to avoid hedonic adaptation and turning the relationship into a dull routine;
- Invest money in experiences, rather than things. When choosing between buying a new couch or a skydiving experience, behavioral economics advises choosing the latter: one can quickly become accustomed to a new couch, but the memories of skydiving will warm for much longer.”
In other words, it is necessary to “split” the pleasures. But unpleasant moments in life, on the contrary, it is better to try to experience “in one breath”.
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