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The male orgasm is often considered to be a simple experience, whereas the female orgasm is viewed as being far more complex, particularly by those who identify as heterosexual and have grown up in Western societies. These ideas about orgasm are frequently shaped by popular culture, such as movies, pornography, and conversations with peers. Unfortunately, these perceptions can create anxiety when our personal experiences do not match these cultural norms. However, when we understand the physiological aspects of sexual response, we can ease our concerns that something is “wrong” with our sexual experiences and refrain from feeling the need to “fix” ourselves or our partners. This knowledge can also help us appreciate the true potential of our bodies.
The unified nature of male and female genital organs
Most of the reproductive organs in both males and females develop from the same embryonic tissues. For the first three months, the human embryo follows a female pattern of development. After that, with the influence of estrogens, the embryos that receive XY chromosomes from their parental cells start to develop male reproductive organs. This process results in the homologous nature of male and female reproductive organs.
For instance, the uterus and the prostate gland, the labia majora and the scrotum, and the clitoris and the penis are examples of homologous pairs. Additionally, the gonads, which are responsible for producing sex hormones and cells, are also similar. Men have testes, while women have ovaries. The reproductive system becomes fully functional during sexual maturation, where men start to produce sperm and women start to produce eggs.
Learning about the fact that the clitoris and penis are essentially the same can promote “orgasm equality” in many relationships, as each partner can receive the appropriate stimulation: women can be stimulated by the head of the clitoris (the most accessible part), while men can be stimulated by the penis. Because penile-vaginal contact is often not enough to stimulate the clitoral head of many women, manual stimulation, sex toys, or oral sex can be used to supplement it.
However, there are many other ways that our bodies and nervous systems can experience pleasure, and the penis and clitoris are not the only erogenous zones.
Different body parts – different pleasure
Magnetic resonance imaging of the brain can reveal the specific regions that are activated when different body parts are stimulated.
The above-mentioned MRI study, which was led by neurobiologist Barry Komisaruk, revealed that different areas of the brain are activated by the stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, and cervix. Nipple stimulation, on the other hand, activates two areas of the brain simultaneously, those of the genitals and breasts, producing a unique flow of positive emotions.
Biologist Vyacheslav Dubynin suggests that the large number of pleasure-generating areas on the body is not only crucial for sexual activities but also aids in “training” the brain and forming repetitive behavior.
Evolution has thoughtfully provided our bodies with several areas that cause sexual pleasure, making sex as appealing as possible.
The purpose of pleasurable sensations during sex, from an evolutionary standpoint, is to offer positive reinforcement for the process of reproduction, thereby ensuring the transmission of genes to the next generation. However, sexual pleasure has become an end in itself for biological organisms possessing developed nervous systems. Furthermore, sex and its associated enjoyable experiences contribute to another vital function – attachment formation.
When various body parts are touched, signals are transmitted through the spinal cord to the positive reinforcement centers in the brain, which leads to the discharge of various neurotransmitters such as dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin. The instinctive program associated with reproduction is linked to the activity of ancient brain structures, mainly the hypothalamus and the amygdala.
The orgasm itself is not represented in the brain as a singular point; instead, it activates the entire brain in both men and women.
How our brain encourages us to engage in love
The sexual response is a complex process that begins even before physical contact. It starts with an unconscious evaluation of a potential partner, including factors such as physical appearance and health. Our olfactory receptors come into play during close contact, allowing us to sense how genetically compatible we are by detecting the protein composition responsible for our immune system’s histocompatibility complex.
If a potential partner’s set of genes for this protein is too similar to ours, our central nervous system signals that they are not a suitable match, which can lead to emotional discomfort.
William Masters and Virginia Johnson, known as the “masters of sex,” were the first to investigate the physiology of sexual response in laboratory conditions, and they presented the classic cycle of sexual responses consisting of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. However, this model is now considered too simplistic, as it doesn’t account for the psychological factors that play a crucial role in sexual response. For instance, a person must be attracted to their sexual partner and in the right state of mind to want to engage in sex. Nonetheless, for the sake of simplicity, we will still use the Masters-Johnson model.
In the arousal phase, the brain releases dopamine, a hormone associated with movement and novelty. While novelty is essential for triggering arousal, it doesn’t necessarily mean changing sexual partners. Small changes such as variations in lighting, pace, or position, trying out new practices, incorporating intimacy products or toys, all have the potential to stimulate the brain’s release of pleasure-inducing dopamine. During the plateau phase, the brain releases endorphins, opioid-like chemicals that primarily act to reduce pain and create positive emotions. The plateau phase can be lengthy and often involves participants maintaining uncomfortable positions that require physical tension, but endorphins help to alleviate any discomfort.
The combination of neurotransmitters aims to create pleasurable sensations during sexual activity and foster emotional connection between partners. After orgasm, the release of oxytocin is primarily responsible for the latter.
How our brain arouses us
During the 1990s, Eric Janssen and John Bancroft, researchers from the Kinsey Institute, introduced the concept of the “dual control system” to describe the process of arousal. According to their theory, the brain evaluates the current situation for favorable and unfavorable sex conditions, regulated by the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, respectively.
When the brain identifies the situation as favorable for sexual activity, such as when flirting with an attractive person, discussing or thinking about sex, or viewing erotic content, and does not perceive any potential risks, such as infection or social stigma, the arousal process is initiated. This type of arousal is controlled by the brain.
Arousal can also be initiated “from the body” when there is a pleasant and obviously sexual interaction, and the information is transmitted to the brain, resulting in complete arousal. This type of arousal is referred to as “responsive.” As a result, the concern about losing passion in long-term relationships is unwarranted since responsive arousal has no “expiration date” as long as both partners feel secure, offer some degree of novelty to each other, and enjoy physical interaction.
Orgasm and stress do not mix.
The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for processes leading up to orgasm, such as arousal, erection, and lubrication, while the sympathetic system is responsible for the actual orgasm, including muscle and organ contractions and ejaculation.
The relationship between the parasympathetic and sympathetic systems is clearly inverse. The more relaxed you are before and during sex, the more intense and vibrant your orgasm will be.
If you feel tense before or during sex, it can weaken or even prevent orgasm. When you’re in an insecure relationship (whether physically or psychologically), or have thoughts that what you’re doing is “dirty” or “shameful”, it inhibits the parasympathetic system from initiating the arousal process. Although we don’t have conscious control over this, we can create a more conducive context for ourselves and our partner.
In order to trigger the required bodily responses, a “prelude” is essential, which may range from flirting and showing affection during a date to extended hugs and kisses.
How the nervous system creates an orgasm
The occurrence of orgasm is dependent on the transmission of nerve impulses to the spinal cord and brain. The sexual organs have an abundance of nerve cells that communicate with the brain via various nerves such as the subcostal, pelvic, pudendal, and vagus nerves. These nerves are responsible for exchanging signals between the reproductive organs and the brain.
Let’s examine the process of signal exchange in women. Sexual stimulation of the genitals transmits information through the branches of the pudendal nerve to the central nervous system, specifically at the level of the lumbar vertebrae (as shown in the image below).
The stimulation of the genitals in women triggers the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn sends impulses through the pelvic nerve. As a result, the erectile tissue of the clitoris becomes swollen, and the Bartholin’s glands start producing moisture to lubricate the vagina, preparing it for sexual activity.
The parasympathetic system can also be activated in response to cognitive stimuli, such as sexual fantasies, without any direct physical contact. When the physical and emotional sensations, including visual and auditory stimuli, reach their peak intensity, it can lead to an orgasm. This process involves the activation of the sacral segments of the spinal cord, which send signals causing the pelvic floor muscles to contract intensely (as shown by the yellow lines in the image below).
Simultaneously, the sympathetic nervous system induces a rhythmic contraction of the pelvic organs and the dilation of the cervix.
The female orgasm is unique in that it does not have a refractory recovery period like in males, which is needed before a man can experience another orgasm. Studies using MRI have shown that a man’s brain stops responding to genital stimulation after orgasm. However, a woman’s nervous system allows her to achieve multiple orgasms, one after another, without needing a recovery period.
Now let’s consider the process of male orgasm. When the penis is stimulated, signals travel along the pudendal nerve (depicted in yellow in the illustration below) to the sacral spinal cord. The parasympathetic system responds by initiating an erection and causing the erectile tissue of the penis to swell.
When sexual stimulation reaches its peak, the male orgasm process starts, which consists of two phases. The first one, called the emissive phase, is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. The blue lines shown in the illustration below indicate the path of its signals. During the emissive phase, sperm cells are expelled from the epididymis and pass through the ejaculatory tract, where they mix with fluids from the seminal vesicles, prostate, and bulbourethral glands.
The second stage of ejaculation is initiated by the pudendal nerve reflex, which cannot be voluntarily stopped. During this stage, the bulbospongiosus and ischiocavernosus muscles contract, leading to the expulsion of semen from the penis. After ejaculation, a refractory period follows, during which a second orgasm is not possible.
From the perspective of the nervous system, the male orgasm is simpler than the female orgasm. In women, impulses that lead to orgasm are generated in the brain, even in the absence of direct genital stimulation, while in men, orgasm is triggered by a spinal cord reflex.
Okay, Google, does the vaginal orgasm exist?
According to MRI brain studies, the notion of a solely clitoral orgasm is a fallacy. Alfred Kinsey’s research in the 1960s revealed that most women reach orgasm through clitoral glans stimulation. This was significant in combating the unfounded view, propagated by Sigmund Freud, that clitoral orgasm was immature. Nevertheless, it led to the belief that every female orgasm is clitoral, and that pleasurable feelings during sex are also caused by internal clitoral stimulation.
Research on women with spinal cord injuries has demonstrated that they can experience orgasm through vaginal and cervical stimulation. The brain receives signals about these sensations via the vagus nerve, which bypasses the spinal cord and travels directly to the brain.
The technique in sex therapy known as the “bridge” is designed to enhance a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm through vaginal or cervical stimulation, such as that provided by the penis during sexual intercourse. The goal is to teach the brain to activate alternate “pathways” for orgasm, which has proven to be beneficial for many women. However, it is important to note that every body is unique, and this technique may not be effective for everyone.
Because various areas of the body activate different parts of the brain, the so-called “mixed” orgasm, which results from stimulation of multiple areas simultaneously (such as the clitoris, vagina, and cervix), can create more intense sensations for women.
In her book “Vagina,” Naomi Wolf describes how damage to the lower part of her spine compressed the pelvic nerve associated with the vaginal canal, causing nerve impulses from vaginal stimulation to fade, as well as orgasms from penile-vaginal sex. This had a significant emotional impact on her because orgasms provided her with a unique boost that positively influenced all aspects of her life. The operation to correct the vertebrae’s alignment did not promise to restore nerve sensitivity, but luckily for Wolf, it did.
MRI studies have provided further insights into understanding the orgasm
The activation of the same brain regions during sexual fantasies as during actual sex means that it is possible to experience an orgasm without physical stimulation, such as in a dream. For those who experience difficulty achieving orgasm, erotic fantasies can help maintain a high level of arousal during sexual activity and facilitate reaching climax.
Our brain can differentiate between sexual and non-sexual touches and does not elicit an arousal response in non-sexual situations, including imagined ones, such as during a medical examination. This response is the same for both men and women and can be explained by the dual control model, where the brain assesses all circumstances and inhibits arousal if they are not conducive to sexual activity.
Despite the relatively good understanding of the neurophysiology of orgasm, sexual responses continue to pose many questions. The underlying causes of anorgasmia and sexual dysfunctions are not always apparent. Scientists and psychologists advise individuals to explore their own bodies and to bear in mind that the body is not a machine that produces identical responses to different stimuli. The body is dynamic and adapts flexibly to new stimuli and care. Sexuality, although influenced by physiology and environment, remains a personal journey for each individual.
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