We conducted an investigation to determine whether the widely held belief that girls are more attracted to men who resemble their fathers, and conversely, that boys are more attracted to women who resemble their mothers, is supported by scientific evidence.
Both Freudian and other psychologists have noted the tendency for individuals to choose partners who bear resemblance to their parents, a phenomenon that is often attributed to the Oedipus and Electra complexes. According to Freud, who first coined the term “Oedipus complex,” this involves an unconscious or conscious sexual attraction to the opposite-sex parent, as well as an ambivalent relationship with the same-sex parent. While Freud described both male and female versions of this complex, Carl Jung introduced the term “Electra complex” to refer specifically to the female experience, although the interpretation remained the same. The Oedipus complex is associated with a fear of castration, while the Electra complex is linked to envy of the penis. As children grow and mature, they are expected to outgrow these feelings and seek out partners who share similarities with their opposite-sex parent. However, Freud’s theory has faced criticism from the scientific community due to its lack of scientific rigor, subjective interpretation of patient behavior by the psychiatrist, and associations with patriarchy, sexism, and phallocentrism. Therefore, it would be inaccurate to explain patterns of partner choice solely based on this highly controversial theory.
Despite criticism of psychoanalytic theory, scientists have still observed certain patterns in partner choice, albeit through alternative frameworks. Genetics, for example, has been found to be a significant factor in selecting a partner. As far back as 1995, Swiss researchers demonstrated that humans tend to select sexual partners based on smell, which is determined by the organism as non-similar in genotype and therefore non-related. This phenomenon has also been well-studied in animals; rodents and fish, for instance, instinctively mate with individuals who possess a different major histocompatibility complex (MHC), which helps reduce the possibility of close inbreeding. MHC is a vast family of genes that play a crucial role in immune system functioning and immunity development.
It is important to note, however, that it would be premature to directly extrapolate findings from animal studies to humans. While there is evidence to suggest that MHC plays a similar role in animals as it does in humans, it remains unclear whether the properties and functions of HLA, the human version of MHC, are replicated in animals. Moreover, when examining experiments conducted on mice and fish, it is important to bear in mind that they were not shown the appearance of another mouse or fish, and as such, there is no data on the development of attraction based on external characteristics.
In more recent times, biologists have been joined by psychologists in studying partner choice. Researchers from the University of Pécs in Hungary found that the model of a man that a girl’s father creates in childhood is reflected in her choice of partner in adulthood. However, this is not necessarily related to genetic predisposition, but rather to the role of the parent in the child’s upbringing. The father figure becomes crucial in shaping the child’s perception of the opposite sex. For their study, the scientists selected 49 pairs of students who completed a personality questionnaire to determine their traits. The students’ parents, including non-biological parents in some cases, also completed the same questionnaire. Both men and women chose partners who shared similar traits with the parent of the opposite sex, but this trend only occurred in cases where the relationships with the parents were positive.
While the study by Hungarian scientists focused on personality traits, the issue of physical appearance of parents and partners was examined by a group of Polish and British researchers. They selected 49 women and analyzed photos of their fathers, then presented them with photos of random men. It was discovered that, similar to personality traits, participants who had positive relationships with their fathers were more inclined to choose men who resembled their father in appearance. Conversely, women who had troubled relationships with their fathers reported finding men whose facial features differed more from their father’s traits to be more attractive.
Finnish scientists also reached the conclusion that individuals tend to choose partners who resemble their opposite-sex parent. Their study analyzed a sample of 70 volunteers who were already in relationships. These findings were similarly confirmed by Japanese scientists who involved 145 volunteers. Such patterns of partner choice are referred to as imprinting in scientific circles, with sexual imprinting being one of its types. During childhood, certain images are imprinted, and as one grows up, similar features attract attention. The Japanese scientists went a step further in their research by requesting photos of the parents from the years when the child was between two and eight years old. It is during this period that sexual imprinting occurs. Therefore, when choosing a partner, people are guided not only by the current appearance of their parents but also by their childhood impressions.
In 2010, Finnish scientists conducted a study to investigate how women’s preferences for the density of potential partners’ hair change during the menstrual cycle’s fertile window (five days before ovulation and a few days after). The study revealed that Finnish women are attracted to less hairy men during this period, which contradicts the stereotype linking increased hairiness in men to excellent reproductive abilities. However, the researchers also found that the hairiness of women’s current partners significantly correlates with the hairiness of their fathers. The researchers hypothesized that this could be the result of an idea ingrained in childhood about the ideal hairiness of a partner.
Specialists from Tokyo University made observations and found that Japanese students, particularly men, tend to prefer partners of the opposite sex whose height matches that of their parents.
Psychologists suggest that the reason for this is “gene recognition,” as it appears that we feel safer and more secure with those who resemble us. This hypothesis is supported by several interesting experiments. David Perrett from the University of St Andrews in Scotland collected photos of his students and used photo editing software to “change” their gender. He then presented the students with a set of photos of random people of the opposite sex, among which the photo of the test subject was altered, and asked them to identify the most attractive potential partner. Most students selected the edited versions of themselves as the most attractive. The researcher explains that our initial positive inclination towards partners who possess familiar traits is because we “recognize” these traits in them.
Tamsin Sexton, a professor of psychology at Northumbria University, conducted a complex experiment. She collected one photo of the boyfriends of her female students, one photo of a brother of these same girls, and pictures of three random men. The researcher then distributed the image of a brother of a random girl to volunteers who were unfamiliar with any of the people in the photos and asked them to rank the remaining four photos (the boyfriend of the same girl and three random men) from the most similar to the least similar. The volunteers were unaware that two of the five men in the photos had a connection. About a third of the participants ranked the partners of the girls as the most similar to the men in the given photo. The professor explains this through the same “recognition” of genes, as the genes of the brother and sister come from the same pair of men and women. Therefore, similarity can be traced not only between the partner and the father but also between the partner and the brother.
“Recognition” of one’s genes is biologically useful as it avoids consanguineous mating, which carries a high risk of mutations. However, consanguineous mating has its advantages as well. Couples who are distantly related (fourth cousin or more) demonstrate greater fertility. In 2008, Icelandic scientists analyzed the number of grandchildren in couples born between 1800 and 1965, concerned about the problem of consanguineous marriages. The study revealed that marriages between fourth and fifth cousins led to the highest number of offspring. Therefore, the desire for maximum dissemination of one’s genes could be an evolutionary reason behind the “recognition” of familiar traits in potential partners.
Experiments confirm the presence of both biological and psychological mechanisms that influence the choice of a partner who resembles the parent of the opposite sex. However, the operation of psychological mechanisms depends heavily on good relationships in the family and trust in the figure of this parent, which are ingrained from childhood. It is important to note that while there is some evidence supporting this theory, it is not absolute. It is not wise to immediately give up an interesting person just because they do not resemble your parent. After all, the exact elements and proportions that make up love and attraction have yet to be fully understood by scientists.
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