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Hello, my name is Lena Averyanova. I am the editor-in-chief of two projects about modern parenting – “No, it’s normal” and Chips Journal.
For six years now, I have been specializing in the topic of parenting: keeping track of the agenda that concerns children and parents, talking about humane pedagogy and careful treatment of the child. I deal not only with the theory of parenting, but also with practice: I have a daughter, her name is Amelia, she is seven years old. This year, Amelia completed the first grade of an alternative school.
Along with academic knowledge (such as reading, writing, and math), children also receive non-academic knowledge in it. For example, they are deliberately taught to better understand their own and others’ emotions, communicate in an environmentally friendly and respectful way, and also learn from other people’s experiences to view the world openly.
“Ordinary” Russian schools either don’t pay attention to all of this at all, or pay attention to it only to a certain extent. In general, they don’t have time – state education is increasingly bending under the pressure of ideology. Now teachers must conduct “lessons of patriotism and talk about the successes of import substitution”. So it remains for parents to develop their children’s “soft skills” (these are skills that do not depend on a person’s profession and status) on their own.
This task has never been easy, and now even more so. What should a person know and be able to do in a world that has suddenly become so complex? In today’s article, I will tell you about the main “soft skills” and knowledge that your child will definitely need – and which, most likely, they will not be told about in school.
In 2013, Google conducted a study to find out which teams of specialists within the company are the most successful. It turned out that the teams with employees who have developed soft skills work best. The most important skills were found to be the ability to be a good mentor, communicate and listen, accept other points of view, empathize and support colleagues, as well as think critically and solve problems.
After that, the company even changed its hiring strategy. Google began actively recruiting humanitarians, artists, and MBA (Master of Business Administration) degree holders, who founders of the corporation Sergey Brin and Larry Page had always treated somewhat dismissively.
Or here’s another study – it was conducted by specialists from Duke University in the United States at the beginning of the 1990s. They launched the Fast Track program for nearly 900 first-graders whom parents and teachers considered prone to aggression, defining their behavior as “problematic”. For 10 years, these children attended classes in addition to regular school lessons, studying their emotions and practicing social skills.
By the third grade, children, on average, began to behave better and their level of aggression decreased. Experts have come to the conclusion that this is all thanks to social intelligence skills, which children actively worked on. That is, the more attention we, as adults, pay to a child’s emotional sphere, the more actively we teach them to interact with others, work in a team, resolve conflicts, empathize with others, analyze information and think critically, the higher the likelihood that they will grow up not as a “softie” or a “wimp”, but as a person capable of relying on common sense.
Research in the field of emotional intelligence and other “soft skills” has been conducted for a long time. However, the systematic development of soft skills in Russia is still being done by few. It remains the task of parents, but after the start of the war, many of them feel lost, apathetic, and angry. They ask themselves: how can one allow their child to be vulnerable, to feel deeply and ask complex questions in a world where the level of aggression and violence is so high, where living is so difficult and dangerous?
The question is philosophical, and psychologist Vera Yakupova, who founded the psychotherapeutic online service Good Point, recommends that modern parents redirect all these emotions towards protecting the values that are important to them.
Say to yourself: “I will not allow my work, my parenting methods, and what I do to be devalued.” This script will explain what exactly to do and what to teach your child outside of the school curriculum.
Script is an instruction for defining personal tactics. We take a specific situation, study sources, talk to experts, and make a list of possible actions, and break down each action into simple steps.
Method: This script is based on the extensive experience of the author in the field of theory and practice of upbringing, as well as her conversations with several experts – all of whom are listed in the material. The text consists of two large chapters. The first is devoted to self-awareness of the child and tells how to help them understand their emotions and explore their own body. The second chapter contains skills that will be useful in studies and communication with others. In total, this material presents seven skills and short instructions for each of them. However, each skill is extensive and complex, and it is impossible to cover all of them in one letter. Therefore, this script helps to orient and determine the scope of action, but additional materials – expert instructions, books, podcasts, and films – will be needed for a deeper study of the topic. We provide links to some of them.
Part 1. How to help a child learn about themselves and their body
Sexual education
What is the topic: Sex education often refers to discussions about sex – and this is incorrect. In English, the word “sex” means both sex itself and gender. However, in the Russian language, the meaning of the word “sex” is only one, so the term “sex education” is associated with the actual process of sex by many. Supposedly, sex education is when they explain how to have sex.
Do not fall for this misconception. Sex education covers a wide range of topics and issues, including hygiene, safety, health, communication skills, and much more.
Why all of this is necessary: Let’s start with the fact that sex education programs increase the age of sexual debut – that is, in simple terms, protect against a very early start to sexual life, and not the other way around, as sometimes thought. In addition, sex education reduces the number of sexual contacts between teenagers, motivates the use of condoms, and almost halves the number of unwanted pregnancies (which, under certain combinations of factors, can even become the cause of suicidal behavior).
However, this is not all. Sex education protects children from encroachments on their sexual integrity: the more a child knows about their body, about how to correctly name their genitals to lower the likelihood that they will suffer from sexual violence. By the way, most parents understand all this.
How to teach this?
Start as early as possible. Psychologist Lydia Parkhitko in her book “How to talk to children about sex” recommends starting sexual education almost from infancy. Of course, this does not mean lecturing an infant on where babies come from. But even in the first years of life, it is important to talk to the child about the body and its boundaries, as well as about organs and sensations through which they perceive the world. “Before we talk about sex, it is important to understand who we are, how our emotional life is structured, and what our body is,” she explains. In turn, sex educator Chris Pokrytan confirms that “children discover bodily pleasure early on and understand what they like and what they don’t.” That is, a conversation about the body at an early age will definitely not be premature.
Name things by their proper names. A penis is a penis (not a “little rooster”), and a vulva is a vulva (not a “dumpling”). Parents often find it more comfortable to use “childish” euphemisms, and of course, it is very important that you feel comfortable during these conversations. However, the sooner you overcome your embarrassment and remove the internal taboo from quite ordinary words like “scrotum” or “vagina”, the more confident and relaxed your conversations with your child will be.
→ Don’t keep secrets. Experts in sex education emphasize that there is no need to create an aura of secrecy around sex education. That is, the body is something that is talked about in secret. On the contrary, let the child know that there should be no secrets between them and adults: and if someone asks them to keep a fact secret, it is a signal that communication is likely unsafe.
→ Don’t forget about the principle of consent. Any conversations with children should be voluntary, including conversations about sex education. Therefore, don’t turn your conversations into an obligation – invite them to dialogue. By the way, this is an excellent way to explain what the principle of consent means, and then reinforce the explanation with practice. For example, allow your child to not kiss or hug relatives if they don’t want to. Also, ask for permission for hugs and other tactile interactions with them yourself.
Of course, when a child is very young, practicing the principle of consent can be difficult. However, it is possible: for example, some experts recommend warning the baby with words about changing their diaper, asking for permission for various manipulations with their body. Yes, such a young person cannot respond to us. But by communicating in this way, we actively demonstrate to the child our care for their personal boundaries. Careful handling of the child’s body will make the transition to a more thoughtful conversation about the principle of consent in the future easier, making it a natural continuation of your relationship rather than a preaching.
→ Progress together. The child is growing, so conversations about sex education should change, become more complex and progress. Gradually, you will tell more and more about hygiene, love and sex, contraception, reproductive health, and safety rules. The pace to choose here, as well as when and how to complicate it, is up to you, but you will find some recommendations in books, videos, and podcasts whose links are at the very end of the block.
→ Don’t avoid “difficult” topics. For many parents, sex education is one big, difficult topic (and that’s normal). However, there are topics that are really hard to talk about. For example, pornography. In Russia, the average age at which a person first watches porn is nine years old. And if your child is on the threshold of puberty, he or she has most likely already seen porn, and not just once. Some parents may even catch their son or daughter watching it. Under no circumstances should you scold them if this happens. It’s better to calmly talk about it, advises sex educator Chris Pokrytan. “You need to talk about what they (the child) saw and clearly convey to them that what happened on the screen has practically nothing to do with real life. An important point that should not be missed is that porn is a story about distorted perception, unnatural poses and movements, and absolute objectification of the female body,” he says.
Gender changes
What is being discussed: This topic is a part of sex education, but we singled it out because it is very important. If sexual education should begin in the early years of life, then discussions about gender and gender changes can be introduced to children in a more conscious stage of development. Of course, their bodies are constantly changing – growing and developing. But this is most active during adolescence under the influence of sex hormones. Physiological changes can be confusing, worrying, even frightening, and quite significantly so.
Why is all this necessary: To prevent a child from considering what is happening to them a taboo topic. And also so that boys and girls understand how their bodies work and don’t feel ashamed about it.
Current children have every chance of growing up much more free and open than previous generations. It could be argued that the generation of modern parents is already quite free, but this is not the case. For example, the topic of menstruation still remains terribly taboo.
This leads to teenagers becoming very vulnerable. For example, only six out of ten girls between the ages of 14 and 18 feel comfortable buying feminine hygiene products. But it’s not just about comfort. Research conducted in Africa showed that inadequate or distorted information about menstruation, as well as shame associated with it, creates a threat of discrimination and increases the risks of gender-based violence.
How to teach this?
Speak about all changes in advance. It is worth telling about menstruation or other changes even before the child encounters them. This will help avoid fear and shame. For example, several readers of Journal admitted that they were terribly scared when they discovered a heavy bleeding in their teenage years. They then seriously thought they were dying. Stress could have been avoided if parents had prepared them in advance for what was about to happen.
Tell boys about girls – and vice versa. Ideally, girls and boys should know about each other’s anatomy as much as their own. For example, understanding how the menstrual cycle of girls works, boys have a better understanding of the reproductive system and become interested in contraception and show empathy towards women in general. At the same time, it is important to provide information in such a way that children understand: none of the physiological processes are shameful, and belonging to one gender or another does not determine the quality of a person.
Explain to the child that all people are different (and stereotypes are harmful). Men and women have different physiology, and this is associated with a huge number of stereotypes, many of which go far beyond physiological boundaries. Of course, it is impossible to completely shield the child from these stereotypes. They are reproduced by everyone around, including educators in kindergartens and teachers in schools – repeating clichéd phrases about how “girls are bad at exact sciences” and “boys are better at playing soccer”. Try to balance these statements with your own – telling the child that gender does not determine an inclination towards science or soccer. While the child is young and learns quickly, it is important to make them understand that gender roles and stereotypes are artificial. To do this, you should show more often that all people are different and their roles (social, professional, anything) are distributed differently.
“It’s cool when a child sees different people: with different features, appearances, and doing different things. This can be seen not only in real life but also in cartoons, books, and movies. However, very often a child encounters stereotypes already at the stage when they go to daycare. There, they are explained that boys don’t wear pink, and girls should wear dresses and have long hair. It is also important to show different examples here. Once, the daughter of my friend – a girl with a short haircut – heard from her teacher that beautiful girls should have long hair. The girl was upset. Then my friend reminded her daughter of my hairstyle (my hair is also short) and asked if she considered me beautiful. The girl responded yes – the problem was solved.”
Emotional intelligence
What it’s about: The expression “emotional intelligence” can now be found literally everywhere – from books on psychology to social networks. Therefore, you probably know what it is about. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand feelings, both your own and those of others. But not only to understand. A person with developed emotional intelligence is able to control their emotions and manage them, as well as use them to solve problems and achieve results.
Why is all of this necessary: The ability to recognize emotions – both our own and others’ – helps to build trusting relationships, handle conflicts properly, and avoid direct aggression. It also helps to cope with stress and not suppress complex emotions.
Children with developed emotional intelligence are able to set goals for themselves, manage their motivation, make responsible decisions, care for others, understand their needs, and think critically. According to research, such children are successful in their profession, better financially provided, easier to adapt into society, and more satisfied with their life in the future.
How to teach this?
Name your emotions. Many modern adults learn to recognize their own emotions with the help of psychotherapists. You have the chance to teach this to your child much earlier than when they reach middle age crisis. Talk about feelings from an early age, help the child to name and experience them. Feelings can be drawn and described using characteristics such as color, shape, and size. Ask the child where exactly they feel, for example, anger, what color and shape it is, and how to drive it out. And is it possible to “tame” anger by organizing an interesting or calming activity while in this state.
Show how everything works. Demonstrating how emotions work is not difficult. All you need is vinegar, baking soda, food coloring, plasticine and a narrow-necked jar for a simple experiment. Explain to the child that emotions are similar to a chemical reaction shown in the video. At the beginning, there may be a lot of them, they boil and erupt, but gradually they calm down and cease to be so bright and scary. The child will see that even very strong emotions have their own life cycle. And they often appear when several components come together: an event, our expectation from it, and reality.
Avoid stereotypes. Humans have evolved, and their emotional intelligence has evolved with them. However, some atavisms still remain with us. For example, the same gender stereotypes we talked about earlier: “boys don’t cry,” “girls are very sensitive.” However, emotions do not have a gender: all of them are available to both boys and girls. In 2019, blogger Caitlin Fladager wrote: “If crying boys were comforted instead of shamed, there wouldn’t be so many men around us who can’t express their emotions” (and this post still collects comments from parents from all over the world). Gender stereotypes regarding children’s emotions are really harmful. For example, the “boys don’t cry” setting can lead to outbreaks of aggression and acts of violence in the long term. A study conducted in Texas in the early 2000s showed that male aggressors suppress emotions and ignore psychological problems, trying to distract themselves from them instead of dealing with them.
Part Two. How to Teach a Child to Communicate and Understand the World
Critical thinking
What it’s about: This is a skill that allows you to look at the world and events in it from different angles, interpret what you hear or see based on facts, and make well-reasoned conclusions. Experts from the “Shalash” foundation give an even more concise definition: “Critical thinking is the ability to see different options for actions in identical situations”.
What is all this for? To form conscious judgments and make informed decisions. A child with developed critical thinking will find it much easier to learn – and live in general. They will understand that there can be more than one option in many situations, start looking for evidence to support their point of view (while also checking its validity), learn to ask the right questions and pay attention to facts.
In general, it is critical thinking that helps a child distinguish facts from opinions – agree, it is a skill that is more than useful in our time. Moreover, well-developed critical thinking makes sex education, which we talked about earlier, more effective, as it eliminates children’s false sense of shame. And also, critical thinking helps to rethink the false formula “adult is always right” and to gain agency (that is, to realize one’s importance).
How to teach this?
Train your child to distinguish between opinion and fact. For this purpose, the “Shalash” Foundation suggests a simple exercise. Ask your child what the weather is like today. If he answers, for example, “warm” or “cold”, explain to him that this is not a statement of fact, but an interpretation of the information he has received by looking out the window or checking the weather forecast online. Facts about the weather will include data such as temperature, humidity, and UV radiation levels. By combining all of this information, the child can make a decision about how to dress before going outside.
Discuss with your child the books that they read. Not all children read actively, and not all children are read to actively. Nonetheless, if literature is loved in your home, talk to your child about it. Ask them what they think about a certain book. Just avoid “closed” questions that imply a short answer (“Did you like this story?”). Ask questions in a way that promotes detailed conversation, such as why a certain character acted a certain way and how each of you would act in their place. This way, you can have a thoughtful conversation together, which is very beneficial for developing critical thinking skills.
Don’t scold for mistakes. Because making mistakes is an important experience. It teaches you to calmly analyze “wrong” answers, actions, and conclusions, to correct them and not repeat them in the future. This is a much more constructive view of the world than the position that “mistakes are terrible and very scary, and if someone makes a mistake, it’s fatal.” So let’s let the child “try on” different judgments and ideas, find (or not find) connections between them, and build logical chains – even if they’re not always perfect. By connecting several facts that at first glance are not very related, the child will have the opportunity to see a particular topic or problem as complex. And you can always correct it, but only do so carefully.
Nonviolent communication
What it’s about: The concept of “Nonviolent Communication” (NVC) was formulated in the 1960s by American psychologist and educator Marshall Rosenberg. It is a type of communication in which participants do not blame each other and try not to use evaluative judgments and comparisons to demonstrate their often false superiority.
The approach of Nonviolent Communication is actively used in schools in Israel (and even enshrined there at the legislative level). However, anyone in any part of the world can learn nonviolent communication in a broader sense, as well as teach it to children.
Why is this necessary: Because even verbal violence is still violence. And it prevents building relationships based on love, trust, and acceptance.
In the previous chapters we advised a lot to talk to the child – sometimes these conversations are very difficult. In order for them to be effective, not just for show and in vain, the child must trust you. In addition, in this case, with his problems, difficulties and complexities, he will come to you first – as well as with his successes, victories and triumphs. In general, non-violent communication is directly related not only to love and respect, but also to security.
How to teach this?
Do not set a bad example. If you yourself use elements of violent communication, try to exclude them. To do this, you will have to analyze your speech and the words you say in various situations – especially in conflict situations. An example of a bad phrase: “You are just a punishment, not a child! Go to your room and think about your behavior! And when you think, come and ask for forgiveness!” And here’s how you can say the same thing differently: “I am very angry right now, so it’s hard for me to find the right words so that we can calmly talk. Please give me a couple of minutes – when I calm down, we can discuss your actions and find a solution.”
The meaning hasn’t actually changed (in both cases the speaker is angry and doesn’t hide it). But in the second case, the parent only talks about their own feelings, doesn’t use sharp words towards the child and doesn’t transfer the responsibility for their feelings onto the child. Why is this right? It’s important for the child to have a reliable adult next to them, showing an example of how to communicate and hear each other, even if the atmosphere is heated. In addition, such communication teaches that we are responsible for our own reactions and emotions, not someone else – no matter how that someone else behaves.
→ Don’t teach us violence. For example, don’t advise to always “give back” when faced with aggression. This advice may seem controversial to many parents who grew up with the exact opposite rule. It states that sometimes, in order to stand up for oneself, one needs to give back properly – and the bully will not bother you anymore. But giving back is a violent practice, emphasizes the “Shalash” foundation. It does not help in conflicts, on the contrary, it exacerbates them and harms the child. Understanding this, many parents tell their children that giving back is only possible as a last resort, when the bully does not understand words at all. “But in a stressful situation, it is difficult for a child to assess the situation and decide whether it is dangerous enough to give back or whether the conflict can be resolved peacefully,” the foundation explains.
A quick analysis of internet search queries shows that on average, parents search for information on how to teach their children to give change 400 times a month, while less than ten ask whether it is necessary to know how to do it. Giving change as a communication and behavioral strategy in a children’s group is supported by both parents and educators. However, adults’ confidence that “some children only understand the language of force” leads to the use of physical violence as a norm for resolving conflicts. Consequently, society maintains a high level of tolerance for violence.
Explain that conflicts are normal. And, of course, absolutely inevitable. We are all different and our interests and desires often conflict. Sometimes, in order to come to a balanced compromise, conflict is simply necessary. And the pursuit of non-violent communication does not mean that conflicts should be avoided at all costs. It is impossible to completely avoid them, so it is better to learn how to handle them properly. Explain this to the child and emphasize that in any disagreement, it is important to maintain a dialogue with the other party. We must be able to listen to the other person’s arguments, accept and respect them. It is best to show all of this through your own example. Children who see adults argue and then make up learn to understand that a healthy conflict does not lead to the destruction of relationships and therefore should not be feared.
Personal boundaries protection
What is it about: Under the protection of personal boundaries, we understand the ability to defend our interests, including during conflicts – both open and hidden. Moreover, it is necessary to do this in an ecologically friendly way (that is, with respect for the interlocutor) and without violence. Ideally, a child should not only possess skills of non-violent communication, but also know how to react correctly if he becomes a victim of violence – both verbal and physical.
Why is it necessary: In adult life, we are faced with the need to defend ourselves and our interests several times a day. Children also need this in their family and among friends; in the yard, daycare, and school – in a huge number of situations. Protecting personal boundaries is a crucial social skill.
How to teach this?
→ Talk to your child about what they don’t like. To be able to stand up for their own interests, they need to understand what they are. It is not always easy for a child to realize what they feel in a particular situation when their preferences and “red flags” are not fully reflected. Help them with this: for example, ask your child what they absolutely do not like about interacting with friends and peers? Does he understand the difference between active and passive aggression? What is he willing to forgive others and what is he not? By discussing all of this, they will feel their own boundaries and define them first and foremost for themselves.
List useful words and phrases. Here they are: “I’m upset, please don’t do it again”; “I don’t like it when people treat me this way”; “I really don’t want to.” It is useful for a child to know that when someone’s actions or behavior hurt, offend or embarrass them, they don’t need to stay silent – it’s important to speak up about their feelings, and this often solves the problem.
→ Tell them that in a critical situation, they need to leave and seek help. Make sure to convey to the child that it’s natural to end a relationship with someone who is hurting them. When words don’t help, it’s best to simply stop communicating: stop being friends or even interacting at all. Sometimes, even that doesn’t work, and the abuser continues to cross boundaries despite everything. In that case, adult help is necessary. And no, it’s not tattling.
→ Talk about the principles of safe communication with strangers. It is also important to tell the child about the principles of safe communication with unfamiliar adults, without intimidating them or giving orders like “Don’t talk to anyone at all.” The ability to talk to unfamiliar people is still necessary, for example, when something happens (the child gets lost or gets into trouble). The main thing is to follow safety rules. Olga Bochkova explains these rules – she founded the Olga Bochkova Safety Academy project. Here are these rules. Talking to a stranger is possible until he violates personal boundaries and tries to make physical contact. If a stranger tries to touch, call somewhere or request something, the scheme “no, thank you – increase distance (step back or to the side) – go or run away” should be applied. And if a stranger pursues, it is necessary to call for help as loudly as possible.
Tolerance
What it’s about: There is a common belief that tolerance is only about “accepting” individuals who identify as LGBTQ+. In conservative communities, this stance is perceived as something negative and you might have heard the word “tolerasty” being used. In reality, tolerance does not require tolerance, but acceptance (the former requires effort, while the latter exists naturally without any efforts). And it’s not just about individuals with gender and sexual identities different from your own.
Tolerance is a skill of a person to accept that the people around them can be completely different,” explains Maria Golyaeva, a child clinical psychologist who works at the charitable foundation “Children-Butterflies”. “They may have a different religion than yours, they may write with their left hand instead of their right hand like you do, and they may have many other differences. This does not make them worse or better, it just makes them different. Tolerance is a way to live in the modern, diverse, and rapidly changing world.
Why is all this necessary: To develop empathy and improve communication skills, as well as to learn to overcome gender stereotypes and limitations. In addition, studies show that the more diverse experience a child has in communicating with people from different cultural contexts, nationalities, ethnic groups, and values, the more flexibly he/she solves tasks and effectively works in a team.
“Telling a child about the diversity of ways to love, live, and break stereotypes is necessary to show that there can be many scenarios and life paths. Introducing diversity and accepting it serves children well not only because it makes them more tolerant, but also because it makes them more tolerant of themselves and gives them more opportunities for different scenarios in their own lives. It is important for a child to be able to accept themselves as they are. Therefore, it is important to tell them that people come in different forms, and their orientation, skin color, or any peculiarities do not make them worse than others. And if a child grows up with an understanding of all this, it is easier for them and their own life too.”
How to teach this:
Start with yourself. A tolerant child will not grow up in a not very tolerant family. Therefore, observe yourself and other family members, advises Inna Kruglyanskaya, director of the children’s center “Ester” (here and below her recommendations are given). Do you allow yourself disrespectful comments, questionable jokes, and anecdotes on the verge of insulting people of a different religion, nationality, gender or sexual identity? Household xenophobia is so firmly entrenched in us that even the most tolerant of us sometimes do not notice when we say something like this. Children hear all of this – and, of course, they pick it up. Therefore, if we want to instill in a child tolerance and respect for others, it is worth starting with ourselves.
Start talking about tolerance as early as possible. Around the age of two, a child regularly encounters those who are completely different from them. They may see “others” on the street or at the playground, on TV – in a cartoon or children’s show. It’s better to start telling them right away that “different” doesn’t mean “bad”. And overall, the word “other” doesn’t have a negative or positive connotation. Other is just other, and all people are different by definition.
Help your child expand their experience. The more different images and characters they see in books, TV shows, cartoons, and YouTube shows, the better. Therefore, show your child different things, increase their exposure. As they get older, you can take them to museums that showcase a variety of national traditions (just make sure the child doesn’t get bored). Traveling with your child to different countries to show them culture and achievements of other peoples in real life is also a great idea. Unfortunately, not everyone can do this now, but the good news is that there is plenty of useful content on this topic on the internet – not only cartoons and books, but also documentaries and podcasts.
The values of humanism, kindness, justice, and trust may seem a little meaningless right now – because we see how easily violence breaks into our lives and destroys everything. Therefore, many are in a state of shock for these months, they want to throw up their hands.
On the other hand, even during peacetime, a carefree life was not promised to us and our children. We raise our children and release them into the world with hope for the best, but without guarantees that everything will surely be good.
“And precisely humanistic values, empathy, critical thinking, tolerance for the opinions of others – these are the things that help even during difficult times,” says psychologist Vera Yakupova. “They help to remain human, to preserve oneself, to survive the toughest moments. So the formation of all these values in children is of enormous importance. They will become the support system on which children can emerge from the dark waters.”
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