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The fear of publicly being embarrassed is familiar to many. It seems that nothing could be worse.
But in reality, people tend to overestimate how much others think about them and how attentive they are to their mistakes. We will talk about the spotlight effect in the latest issue of the psychology guidebook.
Understanding the Spotlight Effect
The spotlight effect is a tendency of people to exaggerate the attention that others pay to their appearance and behavior. This leads to difficulties in communication, increases the level of anxiety, and has a negative impact on one’s well-being.
The spotlight effect was first described recently, in 1999. Later, research results were published that empirically confirmed its existence.
One of them is the famous t-shirt experiment. A student was asked to attend a lecture wearing a t-shirt with a picture of American singer Barry Manilow. At the time, in the late 1990s, he was considered dreadfully unfashionable, and wearing a t-shirt with him was a little embarrassing. Before the experiment started, the volunteer was asked what percentage of those attending the lecture, in his opinion, would pay attention to Barry Manilow. He answered that at least 50%. And he was wrong. The survey conducted by scientists after the lecture showed that only a quarter of the audience noticed the embarrassing t-shirt.
Further studies showed that the spotlight effect is not just limited to appearance. For example, people often overestimate how much attention others pay to what they say during work meetings, and they overestimate how well others remember their ideas and mistakes.
It is believed that the spotlight effect is inherent in everyone and can manifest in such typical phrases and attitudes:
- “I don’t like going to the gym. Everyone is looking at me there”;
- “What will people think of me?!”
- “What a shame: everyone came dressed up, and I’m in jeans again”;
- “By the time I got to work, my shirt was all wrinkled. What will my colleagues think of me now?”;
- “I started stammering again during a video call. Everyone must have realized that I’m not confident”;
- “I stumbled in the middle of the street while carrying packages of groceries. Everyone saw how clumsy I am.”
What causes the emergence of the spotlight effect?
Due to egocentrism. One of the pioneers of the spotlight effect, Kenneth Savitsky, considered this to be the main cause. Egocentrism – in a broad sense of the word – is an inherent property of human consciousness. Each person perceives the world through the prism of their own experience and is naturally concerned with their own survival.
In simpler terms, most of the time we are focused on ourselves, our problems, desires, and tasks. This creates an unconscious assumption that for others, we are just as important as we are for ourselves. Although in reality, others are just as focused on themselves. And most of them simply do not have the energy and time to focus on all our mistakes, failures and failures.
Due to cognitive distortions. These are thinking errors that the brain constantly makes. One of them is the illusion of transparency. It’s a tendency for everyone to think that their thoughts and feelings are obvious to those around them. It seems that if we feel insecure, it’s noticeable and to others.
Another cognitive distortion, the false consensus effect, makes people believe that others almost always share their opinion and agree with their assessments. So if they think they’re doing something wrong, others also think it’s wrong.
Dangers of the Spotlight Effect
The feeling that others are constantly critically evaluating you can ruin your mood, lower your self-esteem, and increase anxiety levels. Because of this, it becomes difficult to express oneself in work and in relationships with others. To avoid imagined criticism from others, they take less initiative and express their ideas less, feel embarrassed to invite someone they like on a date, or are reluctant to try a new hobby if it involves interacting with people.
According to psychologists, this is particularly difficult for people with social anxiety. This condition, in which communication with others, especially those who are unfamiliar, often causes emotional discomfort, strong anxiety, and fear. The spotlight effect can exacerbate these symptoms. As a result, a person may dramatically reduce their social circle, will try to leave the house less often. It is almost impossible to cope with this condition without professional help.
Overcoming the Spotlight Effect
Psychologists claim that in most cases, reducing the negative consequences of the spotlight effect can be helped by simply acknowledging its existence. When a person realizes that most of the people around them are, like them, focused on themselves and their problems, their excitement about it automatically decreases.
This result can be reinforced by a simple exercise. Think, do you really remember the face of every stranger you’ve met in the past few days? And how many of them caused you any negative feelings? How often do you think about other people’s failures? The answers to these questions will show you how little attention you pay to others.
There are other ways too.
Ask for feedback. To stop worrying about what others think of you and how fatal they consider your mistakes, directly ask several close people. Those whom you can confidently ask questions like “Did I really act like an idiot at the party yesterday, or is it just my imagination?” or “Do you think my boss hates me for this mistake?” Most likely, the answers to these questions will show that you are much stricter with yourself than others.
Plan for the worst-case scenario. Suppose you have made an unforgivable, as you think, mistake in a conversation with someone important to you. And this causes you strong anxiety.
To calm it down, the following method is recommended: Ask yourself questions in sequence:
- What is the worst that can happen in this situation if I’m right?
- What will be the consequences for me?
- What actions can I take to correct the situation?
Making a plan of action for a negative scenario significantly reduces anxiety. This helps engage the areas of the brain responsible for rational analysis of emotional information and regain a sense of control over the situation.
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