The most disgusting drinks

Humans have been familiar with alcohol since its emergence in the African savanna. Ethanol, which is one of the natural metabolites, can be found in the large intestine as a result of the activity of microflora, as well as through fermentation. The process of fermentation can only occur in ripe fruits that have a high sugar content. This is why the addition of small amounts of ethanol can stimulate the appetite of herbivorous animals. Humans then took it a step further and learned how to extract the “seasoning” from the main dish. It was soon discovered that this “seasoning” can alter one’s state of mind.

It’s an undeniable fact that every human culture will eventually make the historical discovery of alcohol. In terms of its impact and significance on civilization, alcohol can only be paralleled to the achievement of orbital flight. The difference is that a spacecraft travels through the emptiness of space, while a person under the influence of alcohol embarks on a journey through their inner universe.

The issue is that high-strength alcohol is a solution of ethanol in a high concentration, which can only be obtained through a basic understanding of chemistry. And chemistry cannot be developed without a sophisticated civilization, which may not always be present.

Today, we delve into the earliest and most tumultuous periods of human history. The reader will uncover how our ancestors achieved their goals before the invention of distillation stills.

We will not be covering the brewing of Sumerian and Egyptian beer or classical wines as these topics have been extensively documented and written about, making them less intriguing.

Innuit wine

The top spot on the charts belongs without question to Innuit wine. The Inuit people live in a challenging environment where frost and darkness are a common occurrence, causing some men to not feel inclined to shave. They have limited knowledge of agriculture, including fruit and sugar crops, so they created a unique drink by soaking dead seagulls in water and exposing it to the sun for a few days. The final product was a highly potent mixture with a strong odor of decay and the hint of toxic substances.

For someone from Europe who is not used to the high levels of kadawery found in the drink, Innuit wine can be toxic. Suzanne Donahue, known for taking risks, conducted a tasting and described the experience as follows: “If you drank the liquid from the carburetor of a Toyota, you would have a taste similar to this terrible mixture.”

The taste of the wine is highly questionable, causing headaches and disrupting the body’s motor functions. The intoxication is immediate and the hangover is comparable to a nuclear winter or a night in an ice house. When the wine is mixed with kiwi, the fermented flesh of a seal, it’s said to give a feeling of being in touch with the master of the ocean Tijeruk.

Chicha

In second place, we have the revered chicha, which is still made in the tropical regions of South America and was created by the Incas. The process of making chicha involves chewing cornbread, and the enzymes in saliva, such as amylase and maltase, break down the starch into glucose, which is then metabolized by yeast, bacteria, and other microorganisms in the mouth.

Chicha is known for its strength, which lies somewhere between being drunk and drowning. The flavor is similar to overripe fruit and moldy bread, and the aftertaste is nearly unbearable, lingering in the mouth for days. Despite these drawbacks, chicha has a unique ability to evoke a deep connection with nature, the cosmos, and the gods.

Sake

The Japanese have a similar tradition. Sake, which is not like European alcohol, was made from rice. The process involved boiling the grains, chewing them, and spitting the mixture into bowls where fermentation would occur. For centuries, sake was brewed in temples and the imperial court before the knowledge of how to make it was passed down to the general population. This process continued for many years until the Japanese discovered the koji mold, Aspergillus oryzae, which could initiate fermentation without the need for human saliva.

Ttongsul

For those who have a strong dislike for tea made from cups and beer made with saliva, it’s best to look for another topic of interest. The ranking awards the Korean Ttongsul with the top position, which is not just a matter of creating the worst drink, but something that is difficult to even imagine. To put it succinctly, Ttongsul is a beverage made from human feces.

Here a small excursion into history is needed. Eastern medicine was based on the doctrine of the balance of fluids, energies of the universe, and other witchcraft. It actively used the most nauseating recipes that can come to mind.

In the 4th century, a certain alchemist Ge Hun, who lived in China, advised taking “yellow soup” for the treatment of diarrhea. The main ingredient of the soup was the excretion that lies at the root of diarrhea. The efficiency of the preparation is appropriate. For those who will stutter about the greatness of alternative medicine, the author strongly recommends feeding yellow soup until full enlightenment.

South Korea gave us “Samsung”, the unsinkable conglomerate “Kia-Hyundai”, “Squid Game” and predatory capitalism. Koreans are reluctantly reminded of the masterpiece of folk cuisine. Dr. Lee Chansu – the last expert of shit-cooking. He eagerly told Western journalists about the secrets of Ttongsul.

According to a well-known brewmaster, excrement is steeped in cold water for 24 hours. The result is a solution with a potent odor that is so overpowering that it causes eyes to water and creatures within a large radius to want to hide and die from fear. All that remains is to add boiled rice to the mixture and place it in a warm area. A day later, one can experience the unique aroma and question their own sanity.

As Lee Chansu explains, in the past, peasants were frequently beaten with sticks and would often fall from trees and get injured, sometimes leading to infections. They would then have to resort to drinking feces-based wine as medicine. However, today’s world is different, as falls from trees and physical punishment are rare, and therefore, consumption of feces-based wine is no longer a common practice.