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Living in harmony with oneself is essential for personal growth and happiness. Fashion standards often convince people that their appearance is flawed.
During summer, the sight of swimsuits, shorts, and crop tops in store windows can trigger anxiety. Many people resort to restrictive diets, exhausting workouts, and plastic surgery to conform to the generally accepted body ideal. It is crucial to learn how to accept one’s reflection in a mirror and understand its significance.
Why beauty standards pose a problem
Many people feel unhappy about their appearance and sometimes feel pressure to conform to beauty standards that can go too far. Self-objectification is one example of this, where an individual sees themselves as merely a body with certain parameters, rather than a complete person. This leads to a focus on improving their appearance and physique, often at the expense of appreciating and respecting their personality traits. Research shows that self-objectification can lead to feelings of shame and anxiety about one’s appearance, reduce mood, and make it difficult to focus on tasks.
The medical term for extreme dissatisfaction with one’s appearance is dysmorphophobia. If worrying about your appearance is significantly affecting your daily life, it may be beneficial to take a questionnaire to determine if this is a disorder and seek psychological assistance if needed.
Psychologists suggest gradually shifting negative body perceptions towards a more positive outlook. Research indicates that this approach can help prevent eating disorders, improve self-esteem and overall well-being, and decrease reliance on societal beauty standards. To achieve this, developing feelings of self-acceptance and respect for one’s body is crucial. Here are some tips on getting started.
TIP 1: Changing the virtual world view
Pictures of extremely slim individuals with wrinkle-free faces dominate social media. These highly edited images can make anyone feel uncomfortable, and those who do not adhere to the conventional beauty standards are often subjected to criticism and condemnation on these platforms.
An Instagram internal study that was leaked to the media revealed that over 40% of young users on the platform feel unattractive. Additionally, in a survey conducted in Britain, Instagram was rated the most detrimental social media platform for one’s body image.
Research has demonstrated that social incentives can influence an individual’s self-esteem. In one study, women who were dissatisfied with their bodies were shown photographs of their own bodies marked with positive emoticons, while images of random people were marked with negative emoticons. The results of the experiment showed a significant reduction in the participants’ anxiety levels regarding their appearance.
According to the British Mental Health Foundation, it is recommended to evaluate the social media accounts that one follows and analyze how they impact their self-perception, especially in terms of body image. The foundation advises individuals to refrain from following bloggers and trainers who promote harmful body ideals or use language that shames those who do not want to lose weight. Additionally, individuals should consider unfollowing accounts that post heavily retouched photos, including celebrities.
It is suggested to seek out social media accounts that showcase individuals with diverse body types, including those with “non-standard” beauty. For instance, sex educator Tatyana Nikonova revealed that she became more confident about her body after being exposed to plus-size models on social media. By viewing images of people with larger clothing sizes who are celebrated for their beauty, she began to view her own figure with less criticism.
TIP 2: Primary focus should be on health
Many people believe that accepting one’s body is not compatible with desiring to lead a healthy lifestyle. However, this is not the case. Exercise and eating fresh vegetables can be enjoyable and beneficial for wellness purposes, rather than just to conform to beauty standards. By focusing on this approach to healthy habits rather than restrictive diets and exhausting workouts, one can maintain them for a long time.
American psychology professor Drew Anderson advises that being solely preoccupied with weight and shape is problematic. Instead of constantly weighing oneself and measuring waist circumference, one should focus on getting stronger, more flexible, and improving endurance. It is also beneficial to set goals such as learning new skills, like swimming.
TIP 3: If body positivity fails, practice body neutrality
Body positivity promotes loving and accepting one’s body, flaws and all. However, this goal may not always be realistic for everyone. As an alternative, one can adopt a position of body neutrality. This involves acknowledging, without either hatred or love, that the body is capable of accomplishing many things such as climbing a mountain, walking tens of thousands of steps a day, or carrying bags from the store.
According to psychologist Hillary McBride in her book Wisdom of your Body, individuals who wish to stop judging themselves can benefit significantly from adopting a body-neutral approach. This approach helps individuals recognize that their value, strengths, and personalities exist independently from how others perceive their appearance.
TIP 4: Be kind to yourself
Researchers refer to arguments such as “I’m so fat” or attempts to console a friend with statements like “well, you shouldn’t be worried, look at me” as fat talk. However, these conversations are far from harmless, as they can exacerbate body dissatisfaction and contribute to the development of eating disorders. In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), individuals dissatisfied with their bodies are taught to use gentle language when speaking about themselves, even in jest, as this method can increase self-esteem. This approach has been shown to be effective in similar cases.
Anuschka Rees, a popular fashion blogger, outlines in her book “Beyond Beautiful” some helpful ways to talk about oneself and their flaws. Here are a few of them:
- Focus on the inside of the problem: Instead of saying “I have skinny legs,” one can say “I’m embarrassed by my legs.”
- Don’t compete in self-deprecation: Instead of saying “my ass is twice as big as yours,” one can say “I think everything is fine with you, but I understand how you feel.”
- Don’t present feelings as facts: Instead of saying “I’m ugly,” one can say “I feel unattractive.”
- Avoid comparisons: Instead of saying “I look like a cow in this dress,” one can say “this dress doesn’t work for me.”
TIP 5: Practicing self-compassion
Texas psychology professor Christine Neff introduced the concept of self-compassion in the early 2000s. The concept comprises three aspects: self-kindness, mindfulness, and general humanity, which involves recognizing that many people experience similar challenges. The results of studies have demonstrated that this approach enhances self-esteem among individuals who are dissatisfied with their appearance.
Essentially, self-compassion entails rejecting self-criticism and acknowledging that imperfection is a natural aspect of being human, which requires compassion and kindness. Additionally, it is crucial to recognize that many individuals experience insecurity and make mistakes. Instead of identifying with negative emotions, it is preferable to observe them as they arise.
Dr. Neff recommends utilizing various exercises to cultivate self-compassion, such as journaling about personal experiences, taking brief pauses to monitor one’s emotions, and engaging in self-care activities.
As an example:
- Reflect on your feelings after shopping, meeting up with friends, and browsing social media. Avoid suppressing any negative or painful emotions. Instead, offer yourself words of encouragement that you would give to a loved one experiencing distress or depression.
- Compose a letter to yourself in which you describe what aspects of your appearance you dislike and why. As you engage in this exercise, attempt to comprehend the causes of your negative self-image and monitor your emotions. Additionally, express genuine sympathy for the distress these perceptions cause you.
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